It's the day after Easter. The sun is reflecting off the water as it ripples past the sunroom doors. All is quiet as I wait for Spring to take over where Winter leaves off.
I spent Good Friday and Holy Saturday watching The Passion of Christ, and Jesus of Nazareth....trying to capture the depth of what Jesus suffered down deep into my soul....knowing it could never be. Watching it on the screen would never penetrate my senses the way I had hoped it could.
What I felt could in no way compare to what He experienced....the rejection, and humiliation, the betrayal, and being forsaken....and all the pain. I could only watch.......and cry, and feel so unworthy. And ashamed.
How does humanity justify that day?
As I watched Jesus crawl across the ground to the cross....the cross that He carried on His torn flesh, bloodied and beaten, the soldiers used their feet to push Him across the stony ground, and over the timber as He fell in place.
How did Jesus survive to that point?
They hadn't even nailed Him to the cross yet!!
It was so overwhelming....all a person could do was sob!!
I didn't want to experience it anymore.
As the sound of the nails being pounded bounced around in my brain, and the groaning followed, then the tumbling of the cross falling down into the shaft prepared for it with more groanings.....my unworthiness rushed up out of my throat like a flood!!
I am well aware it was all a video......but as I sat on our sofa, and I was completely involved in what Jesus had done for me......for me, on that day.....the reality tore at my heart.....
His love is the same for me today, as it was on that day that He was crucified!!!
